Ol' Sweet Tea went to an estate sale today and scored big. Some sweet meemaw drove her Caprice Classic to the Early Bird Special in the sky, and Sweet Tea was there to pick up the pieces.
Picture it: a St. Louis suburb. A 1950s ranch-style house in a quiet, upper-middle-class neighborhood. Tall trees, nice folks. Probably a superhip place about 50 years ago.
This hot meemaw had a 1950s, blonde, baby grand piano:
Exactly one metric shit-ton of crazy-ass lamps (this is just a taste):
A television set, perfect for watching "Howdy Doody":
And so, so much more. But ol' Sweet Tea digresses.
Although I brought home a boxful of Meemaw's treasures, I thought you'd like to know that I found the thing I've been looking for my whole life. The thing I didn't even know my life was missing. The thing that--I dare say--I may not have been able to live another day without. Nick of time, kids, nick of time.
I found...wait for it...the Meemaw Award.
You think you'd sell your soul to win an Emmy?
A Tony?
An MTV Award? (Bless your heart.)
Or even an Oscar?
Well then. Tell me you wouldn't move a motherf*cking mountain to have one of these babies:
The pink, white, and gold Murano roadrunner: The Meemaw Award. Can't see it? Picture this:
I know, I know. The glamour is too much. Try to take it in. Tryyyyyyyyy. Not everyone can make a pair of sweatpants and unwashed hair her bitch the way I can.
The Meemaw Award. Live it. Love it.
I'll be back. Soon. I promise.
