BACON. JAM.

Hungry kittens--

Yeah, you read that title right. Bacon, as in, the candy of meats. Jam, as in, the candy of breakfast.

Sweet Tea Sis came up for a visit this past weekend, and apparently she shook the bacon tree (at Big Springs Trading Company) before she left, because...BACON. A ton of it. Seriously, Jen at Big Springs has the BEST bacon--her bacon comes from just down the road, and she smokes it and slices it right there in the restaurant. If you're looking for a chilled out vacation, head to the Ozarks, spend a day floating down the river, then have lunch or dinner at Big Springs. There's a ton of outdoorsy stuff to do, but a meal at Big Springs is a must.

Anyway, Jen sent my sister here with at least half a pig. So we made some bacon jam. Wanna make your own?  Here's how:

Cut 1 1/2 pounds of bacon into pieces. Cook in a dutch oven or any big ol' pan until browned, about 20 minutes. (If you use bacon from the grocery store, you'll get a lot more grease than if you get it from a place like Big Springs or a farm, but that's okay: bacon grease has a ton of delicious uses.)

Use a slotted spoon to transfer the bacon to some paper towels. Leave a tablespoon or so of bacon fat in the pan. Dice two medium yellow onions and about 3 garlic cloves, and cook 5-7 minutes, or until translucent.

Add some goop: 1/2 cup cider vinegar, 1/2 cup packed dark brown sugar, 1/4 cup pure maple syrup, and 3/4 cup brewed coffee (I use a fancy French brand called fol-zhay [spelled Folgers], but don't be embarrassed to just use what you have). Bring to a boil.

Add bacon and stir to combine. Transfer the mixture to a slow cooker.

Now cook it.

Cook it good.

Cook it on high until the liquid is thick and syrupy, 3 1/2 to 4 hours, stirring all along.

WARNING: Not everyone is a BACON JAM WARRIOR. Your ranks may be thinned as your bacon jam is a-cookin':

Anyway, remaining bacon jam warriors need to transfer the jam to a food processor. Whirrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!

Cool, then package in jars. This recipe will fill about four eight-ounce jars. Refrigerate for up to four weeks. (Yeah. As if it won't be eaten by the end of day one.)

Stay tuned for Sweet Tea's next lesson in domesticity: How to Convince Your Husband to Hire a Cleaning Service, followed soon thereafter by How to Make a Store-Bought Dinner Look Homemade.

Until next time, kittens!