I return. Try not to shit a kitten.

Tender kittens,

I took a break.

No shit, you say.

Yeah, well. What can I say? My pimp dropped me (too old). My clients dropped me (too rickety, not into the new-fangled kinky stuff). My landlord was no longer willing to barter for payment (if I ain't bein' too subtle). Life got complicated, fast. Jesus took the wheel and I ended up here.

Long story short: I went through some life changes. Still going through them, actually. But I love this crappy little blog. I love you bleaders. And I love typing incoherent threads every night as I'm killin' a bottle of Thunderbird. Or Bartles and Jaymes. Or Mad Dog. You get the idea.

So I'm back. Not every day, but here and there. So when you need some gratuitous boobs...

Sorry, I was having a fat day...

...or license plate philosophy...

How fucking motivational

...or random hot pieces...

Slow down, ladies. No pushing.

...you can count on ol' Sweet Tea.

For those of you who find all this beneath you, please see my accountant, Lucille. She totally gives an eff and she'll refund your subscription fee in full:

Lucy: she cares. Your refund: she's on it.

Anyway, check back soon. Shit's about to get real.