My annual satellite radio subscription was about to end, so the good folks at XM called to ask me if I'd like to renew for another year. Helpful, aren't they?
XM: So would you like to continue your subscription?
Sweet Tea: Yep.
XM: Okay, so that'll be $175. What type of card will you be using?
Sweet Tea: It's an American Exp...WAIT. What?! One-seventy-five? Did I really agree to pay that last year?!
XM: Hmmmm...let's see. No...it looks like you paid $99. But that was a special rate.
Sweet Tea: Well. If you're wishing for me to continue my subscription for $175, you can wish in one hand and crap in the other and see which gets filled first. Cancel.
XM: Are you sure you want to cancel? With XM, you get unlimited sports, music, talk, weather...
Sweet Tea: CANCEL. Cancel, cancel, cancel. All that's free on regular radio. And XM plays just as many commercials as anyone else these days. If you think I'm one of these yayhoos who has more dollars than sense, you can just think again.
XM: Okay, just let me transfer you to our cancellation department.
Sweet Tea: Don't bother. You tell the cancellation department. XM's not going to pawn it off on me--surely they pay someone out of that SEVENTY-FIVE PERCENT PRICE INCREASE to handle cancellations without having to waste my time...
XM: Cancellation department, can I help you?
*Crap! He just transferred me in the middle of my rant!*
Sweet Tea: I need to cancel my subscription.
XM: We're always sorry to lose a customer, but I can handle that for you. Can you tell me why you're leaving us?
Sweet Tea: Prices are ridiculous. Cancel. Cancel, cancel, cancel.
XM: Well...hold on...it looks like we have a special rate here of $89. With taxes and fees (Sweet Tea comment: Yeah. Right. Uh huh.), that comes to $99.
You know what ol' Sweet Tea needs right now? A motivational speech:
For what it's worth, I watch this video every single day. Sometimes it takes more than a nip o' gin to get me out of bed, y'know?
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