A-Stitchin' and A-Bitchin'

My little velveteen bunnies,

Sweet Tea has been on a much-needed semi-sabbatical, so please accept my most earnest apologies for the lack of posts. Let's just say that the Sweet Tea has been spiked sweetened with a little more than sugar these last few days, if I ain't being too subtle.

Anyway. Been doing a little sewing. Told my sister I'd make her an apron much like one she already had, which was adorbs. I secretly hoped I could do better. So I set out to find a pattern and some fabric that would make her squeal with glee. We both have taste that is big on what I call the "cute factor." It's kind of hard to define in concrete terms, but, much like porn, you know it when you see it. I was on a mission.

I decided on Butterick 5474 (which was a full apron, similar to what she already had), but I also couldn't resist Simplicity 2592 (a half-apron), a re-issue from back in the day. God, how I love vintage-y shit (why, yes, I am feeling quite elegant with my word choices right about now). I don't know what made me this way. Whatever it is, stuff from the late 40s through the early 70s gets me every time:

Cute, right? And I found some bright pink fabric with white polka dots and lime green trim. Here's Melissa looking insanely gorgeous in the full apron. Can I get a witness?!

I swear, she could bake me a Shit Pie wearing that thing, and I'd gobble it down with a smile on my face. You just know that any girl wearing that is going to serve you tea as thick as syrup and she could make roadkill taste like goddamn filet mignon.

And here's Amelia, WERQing the shee-yat out of the half-apron:

Action shot. How sweet is this? Girlfriend could be a-reachin' in that canister for clumps of pig shit and you'd be three chews into your fifth clump before you realized you were eating porcine feces:

Not to be outdone, Auntie Em, in a desperate bid for relevance and attention, pretends to demonstrate part of the sewing process, just to be featured on her own blog. Zoolander Face in da house! Huzzah!

Seriously, though, if you give an eff, that's the practice apron I made out of muslin, just to make sure I knew what I was doing. Maybe you can or can't tell, but I marked notes to myself all over it and the edges aren't finished. The point is just to familiarize yourself with the pattern and make any adjustments before you cut into the actual material you're sewing with.

HOPEFULLY my next sewing project update will be Lucy's Christmas dress--fingers crossed, y'all!