Cathy & Gramma Betty: Shots Fired

Regal kittens--

Whether the idea of Britain's royal family infuriates you because they've never known a single day of real work and they live in unimaginable wealth, or you are so awed by them that you woke up at 3am to watch Diana's funeral procession even though you were taking an honors courseload that was so heavy you had to have the dean's approval  and Will and Catherine's wedding just to see what she'd wear, even though it meant you would be dead at work the next day and it would be the only thing on TV the next three days, can we all agree that, at the very least, the royals are interesting to watch?

That said, I thought I'd do a super-fun Cathy (aka Catherine, Duchess of Cambridge, ugh) vs. Gramma Betty (aka, Her Royal Highness, Queen Elizabeth of Fucking England, bitches) comparison, just to make sure we all know what's what and just to reiterate the fact that--sometimes--Grammy's little princess needs to be reminded who's queen.

Colors

Ah, Cathy, don't you look so appropriate in your lovely, knee-length navy blue dress and your shiny hair and your....snoooooooore. Oh, I'm sorry--must've fallen asleep. Thank GAWD I awoke just in time to see the lovely Easter Egg vision with the gazilion gilded buttons and the See If I Give A Fuck, Commoners Ruby Red lipstick. (Should I even mention Camilla? Ol' girl don't stand a chance...)

Shoes

If they could talk, Cathy's shoes would say, "Dearie me. Prancing down the aisle of the church has left me quite tired indeed. Are you quite certain we must walk through at least 100 commoners to the waiting Rolls?"

Gramma Betty's shoes say, "Diamond Jubilee, bitches! That's 60 years I've been on THIS throne, muthafuckas! Park that car in the garage, Jeeves--Gramma Betty's about to work this fuckin' crowd in her sensible, beat-up kicks! Hide 'n' watch, bitches!"

(Also, another win for Gramma Betty in the color department! AND: Seriously, how adorable is this picture??)

Rack

Holy shit. Take it off, Betty! Set those beautiful mammaries free! No comparison necessary.

Photobomb

Bitch knows how to photobomb. The future queen. On her wedding day. AHAHAHAHAAA!!!

Do we even need to tally the score? Bitch would mop up a barroom floor with any trick's ass without even needing to straighten her pink and purple hat. Then she'd down a straight shot of scotch and be the hell on her way.

Bow down, peasants!!!