Workin' It

Tender kittens--

Did you have to work yesterday on Valentine's Day? Yeah, me too.

So there I was, working my regular street corner--wearing RED, duh--when the hottest piece I've seen in a while rolled up in a two-tone Chevy Chevette. As we rattled down the road, he asked me if I liked to dance...

Sidebar: I like my men like I like my tea--sweet, extra-large, and mute. As a general rule, I usually just set the bar pretty low and see what crawls over.

But a dancin' man??? DO NOT TEASE.

I thought we were heading to some hotspot club, but this hot piece knew of a place much cheaper and well-lit better--The Best Buy. We downed a couple of Miller Lites in the parking lot and then headed inside. YOU GUYS. I AM IN LOVE:

Bitch is bustin' a move like he's prancin' for his life!

Do y'all even realize the things we could accomplish if we had the confidence of this hot piece? We'd all answer every invitation with a "Not if I get there first!" and every criticism with a "Kiss my ass, cowboy" if we had so much as half the confidence of my Best Buy lovaaaahhhhh.

Anyway, if you happen to see my hot piece, whether picking up some trick on the corner or spankin' the planks on a surveillance camera, can you please tell him to call me? I miss him and I left my panties in the glove compartment of his Chevy Chevette.

Oh, and for those of you who feel so smug because you racked up a ton of Valentines yesterday, this one's for you:

Now you can go tell all the Peggys of the world what's what, courtesy of my dear friend Christopher. You're welcome.