Crack Creme (heh heh)

Ladies and gentlemen, courtesy of my sister who has a gift for finding humor in the damnedest places, I give you Crack Creme. How I haven’t heard of this stuff until now is a mystery, but now I’m letting you in on the action. You're welcome.

I realize that you don’t need any reason beyond the name itself to run out and buy an industrial-sized tub of this stuff, but allow me to further convince you of your need to own this. Word around the campfire is that Crack Creme is more than just a pretty face, more than just the kind of bathroom-countertop item you leave out for guests to see so that they know that they're dealing with someone of the highest class and most refined tastes: Out of 29 reviews on drugstore.com, Crack Creme averaged 5 stars out of 5. That's how you do it, bitches. Are you as curious as I am to hear people rave about the creme for the crack? Read on for some Crack Creme reviews. God, how I love the internet.

Actual quotes from Crack Creme user reviews. Some of these are funny for how much folks are willing to share, some are just painfully no-shit-Sherlock obvious, and some are just flat out ridiculous. Each one, though, has made me a new Crack Creme convert:

My skin was like leather.

Thank God I found Crack Creme.

We tried alot of creams for my Husbands foot.

I burned my fingers nearly 40 years ago by using a product with lye in it.

I like this better than some of Zim's other products. This is a cream. It has a distinct odor (my work-mates say they like it). This works REALLY good for chapped skin. I also like this because I could use my FSA card for this (in 2010).

I don't find the smell unpleasant at all. It smells like cloves.

Loved the cream, it has an interesting scent to it!

I held my nose and used it for several days, with excellent results on my cracked feet. Now I'm noticing that the odor no longer seems bad to me, but instead seems clean and refreshing.

My husband is a diabetic and nothing saves his hands in the winter time like Zim's!

It's perfect for hands that are so dry they crack.

I am the queen of hand creams.

This cream is my constant companion.

 And my favorite:
Finally a product that's true to life!!!! So many mornings I have had Grandma lips attached to a mouth wondering who did it and ran. Now that I have Zim's Crack Creme I don't feel so alone in my recuperation from the month. I feel confident enough now to search for that job I lost this month due to the circumstances leading to the reason that Zim's Crack Cream is so important in my life.

If anyone does cross-stitch, I will pay you ONE MILLION DOLLARS to write that last one in needle and thread onto fabric so that it may grace my entryway.