Ugly Chair: Progress Report

Ugly Chair is still ugly, but I’m making some progress—albeit slow—in making it into Pretty Chair. Hey, man, Rome wasn’t built in a day, and Pretty Chair isn’t, either. Especially if I’m the project foreman.

Step one: I’ve procured the fabric that I’m going to use to re-cover Ugly Chair. (Hey, this one time, driving down the road, I saw a big ol’ delivery truck from a furniture repair business, and on the side it said, “Old furniture repairers never die. The just re-cover.” That’s my kind of humor right there.) Have a look:

See what I did there? See how Crazy Dog Lady worked in a picture of Goose? Here's a better shot:

Step two: I’ve procured one of the necessary tools—a big ol’ badass staple gun!—that I’m going to use to staple the above fabric onto Ugly Chair. (Hey, this one time, at my old job, there was this idiot who “worked” there and stole everyone’s oxygen. People called him a tool. But he was more than a tool. He was the whole toolbox. So he became known as Toolbox, or Box for short.)

This staple gun comes courtesy of my colleague Bill. You know how you just know that certain people will have certain things you can borrow? Well, I felt pretty sure that Bill would be the kind of guy to own a staple gun. How did I intuitively know this about Bill? Well, take a gander at this here picture of Bill (from a recent vacation expedition) and tell me if you wouldn’t assume that he’s just the sort of guy who would own a staple gun:

Yep. For sure, you just know that, somewhere between the Green Bay Packers Christmas ornaments and the bow and arrow, there's a staple gun in Bill's garage.

I’ll be sure to keep you updated on Ugly Chair’s progress.