Dick

Dick. One of my favorite words. It really is the perfect word when you're looking for something less emphatic than "asshole" but more emphatic than "ol' boy."

For example, you may have to explain your tardiness to a meeting by saying: "Sorry I'm late--dick blocked my car in."

Anyway, in light of my (heh heh) preference for dick, a sweet dear was kind enough to pick this campaign sign up for me AFTER the recent election. Doesn't it bug you when, long after elections are over, some dicks won't even get out and pick up their crappy cock sign? Dick.

Anyway, some background. Senator Richard Saslaw (D) had been the incumbent for 30 years in Virginia's 35th District. This past summer, Robert Sarvis (R) decided he wanted the job. And the race was on.

Things started out in a fairly civil--borderline bland--manner. Here was Sarvis's original campaign sign:

But things weren't looking good for our dear, pandering Sarvis, even though he was doing every cock thing he could do to appeal to EVERYONE. Bi-racial? Check. Father died young? Yup. Raised by a single, Chinese mother? You betcha. High school at Thomas Jefferson? Of course. Undergrad at Harvard? Nowhere but. Law degree? You know it. Disillusioned with law? Believe it. Black wife? Oh snap. Adorable baby boy, little girl on the way? Yes and yes.

Still...not working. Efforts had to be stepped up. So, shortly before the election, Sarvis intensified his campaign by covering the above good-citizen signs with a clear message for his opponent (our dear Richard):

And...

Kinda brings a tear to your eye, don't it?

In the end, the good people of Northern Virginia said, "I want Dick for four more years! Yay! Four more years of Dick! Give me Dick for four years! Dick! Dick! Dick for all of Northern Virginia!" And, apparently, Mr. Sarvis skulked home, too much of a sore loser to even pick up his cock campaign signs, leaving them for people like me to frame and hang over my fireplace.

Hey, how come Dick is the abbreviated form of Richard? I'm not complaining, mind you. Just asking. Same thing with Bill for William. Or Bob for Robert? Or Jack for John. WTF?