Buh-Bye, 2011!

My effervescent little champagne bubbles--

2011 is about to be a speck in the rearview mirror, so say goodbye properly. Take it out, buy it some Thunderbird Courvoisier, rip off its clothes, throw it up against the wall, then...pass out, naked and disappointed. You know you totally will.

If you're headed out to someone else's house for New Year's, be klassy about it. Pick up a nice box o' wine from the Wal-Mart:

Or, for you hifalutin fancy types, take a nice bottle:

And, as they say in Arkansas, leave with the one that brung ya. Don't go to a party with one...

And wake up with another...

The best advice is to be careful, be responsible, and get home safely so you can crash out there:

And spend the next day chilled out, recuperating, watching porn "Bewitched":

And, for those of you hot pieces who caught the Courvoisier reference *cough*Bill*cough*Melissa*cough* in the beginning of the post (or if you're just looking for the best guide for gettin' a piece of New Year's ass), check out this hilarious SNL video.

Happy New Year! See you in 2012, kittens!