Bushes Update!

You guys. OMG. Remember all the drama with the bushes outside my house?

Here's what it looked like outside my house all spring, summer, and fall:

After one all of you dear bleaders contacted me after the original post to say that I MUST contact the property manager about the issue, I finally did.

Long story short, she said she'd have the bushes replaced, and she didn't. On 19 December--fed the hell up--I sent her this:

Hey, bitch Hi, Teresa--

Over two months ago, I wrote to you about the plants issue discussed above. You're lucky I didn't march down there in person and leave with your head on a stick. You told me that you discussed it with the board and the plants would be replaced this fall. Even though your email reeked of the unmistakable smell of bullshit, I was willing to accept that. A month later, I informed you that no action had been taken and you said that you were working with the contract landscaper to get them installed. Again, bullshit. It is now over another month later and still no action has been taken. See? Bullshit. Told you. Because of the weather, it is almost certain that no action will be taken for months to come. By the time anything finally gets planted, I'll already be my fifth year into my life sentence for the head-on-a-stick misunderstanding.

I would like a response from you before I take the issue further. No body, no crime.

Watch your back, Thank you,

Your Worst Nightmare Sweet Tea

Lo and behold. I came home on the afternoon of Friday the 23rd to this:

Oh, kittens. I can't tell you how happy I am about this. Don't get me wrong--I am royally, monstrously, unbelievably PISSED that I had to dry hump this woman just to get a response that is her job to provide before the question is even asked, but still.

And now I don't have to kill anyone. What a relief. I'm too delicate for prison.