Government Shutdown

Fucking politicians. These dicks whore themselves out to you just before an election ("I'm just like you--watch me roll up my sleeves, take off my tie, and kiss this here ugly baby), then--after you elect their otherwise unemployable asses--they disappear into the DC machine, enjoying $500 dinners with piece-of-shit lobbyists (whose pockets are deeper than yours will ever be), flying on campaign donors' private planes, and basically partyin' it up on your nickel. (Wanna have some fun? Go get your most recent pay stub and compare your gross income to your net income. Then do the following math: GROSS - NET = LINING THEIR POCKETS, or, you know, $175K a year--NOT A JOKE.)

AND THEY DON'T EVEN DO THEIR JOBS. Want proof? The federal budget: it was supposed to be passed on 30 September. THAT'S THEIR FUCKING JOB: to pass a goddamn budget. And they didn't do it. Because of these incompetent dicks, the government was going to have to shut down at midnight Friday. Sweet Tea would not have a job. No federal services (post office, Veterans Affairs, Homeland Security, national parks, nothing) would be open to any of us. Oh. And. Congress hasn't passed a budget on time in 14 years. You read that right. Fourteen. Years.

When they campaigned, they said to you, "Vote for me and I will do my job better than my opponent ever could." Well, they just showed themselves to be liars. Every fucking one of them. Republicans, Democrats, all of the motherfuckers.

Last night, they pulled their favorite trick: They fucked around, couldn't agree on a budget, had us all prepare for a shutdown, and then SWOOPED IN at the eleventh hour, agreed on a measure to put the shutdown off for another two months (they still have not passed a budget, people), and then held a fucking press conference about how, despite the OTHER SIDE (Democrat or Republican), they managed to pass a budget! As if they deserve a fucking medal for doing one of the most very basic things they were hired BY YOU to do in the first place.

And do you think they did it because they care about you and me? Here's what Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid (D-Nev) said: "We hope that we can come up with something that would get us out of here at a reasonable time in the next few days." Do you see that? He wanted to make sure that they all got their holidays off without the public's noticing that they hadn't done their damn jobs!

These fuckers deserve a fucking pink slip. We hired them, let's fire them. What happens if you don't do your job? You get fired, right? Well...

Write to these motherfuckers. Fire up your email. Go here to find your piece-of-shit senators (upper right-hand corner) and here to find your douchebag congressperson.

Feel free to put "Update Your Resume" in the subject line. And feel free to copy and paste anything from here you want:

Dear Congressperson/Senator:

This letter is to address your failure of your official duties. Be advised that, due to your failure to pass a federal budget, not only will I never vote for you, but I will encourage everyone I know to never vote for you. I will do my best to ensure that we no longer pay you $175K a year to fail in your capacity to represent me and my interests.

All the best to you this holiday season,

SIGN YOUR NAME HERE, KIDS!

Feel free to include any verbiage you like--this is just an idea. Then, next November, be sure to vote for whoever runs against the incumbent prick in your state/district.