Y'all are too sweet to me. A couple of carrier pigeons arrived with letters of concern over the fact that Sweet Tea included TWO Josh Groban postings over the last couple of weeks, both of which stating that I would, if offered the opportunity, hit it.
Sweet Tea bleader William wanted to know: "This guy Josh...who is he, and why do you want to hit him? Why do you want to hurt him?" Oh, William.
And Sweet Tea bleader Bryan, who lumps Groban in to a big, hot, steamy pile with "Neil Diamond, Rod Stewart, and other pieces of shit," demanded to know whether I would "deign also to 'hit' Messrs. Stewart, Diamond?" That Bryan.
Worry not. Just because I said I'd hit it (and, yeah, I totally would so get over it, prudes), he's not really my type. I mean, it's been suggested that Groban looks like ALF, a thought I'd never be able to get out of my head:
Besides, my type is a little more confident. I need a guy who isn't such a pretty boy.
A guy who isn't afraid to let his monstrous gut hang out. Message: "I won't be spending all my time at the gym...I'm devoting my free time to YOU, lucky little lady!"
A guy who knows that women are attracted to a combover, sailing in the breeze. Message: "Play your cards right and you could have this combover blowing in your face as we sail down the road in my bad-ass Smart car."
A guy who drives a car with a bumper sticker that reads, "BORN HARD." Message: "Awwwwwwwww yeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaahhhh!"
THIS is what I'd like to hit, kids. Be on the lookout for a hot piece of this quality for your dear Sweet Tea!
Consider it your New Year's resolution that you will send Sweet Tea all the hotties you encounter who should make the "My Next Ex-Husband" list!
2012: It's gonna be a great year!
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