How To Be Awesome At Being Awesome

1. Bake these chocolate chip cookies.

2. Bask in the hot, sexy, bad-ass glow of awesomeness.*

Hot, Sexy, Bad-Ass Chocolate Chip Cookies

1 cup butter, softened

3/4 cup brown sugar, packed

3/4 cup granulated sugar

2 eggs

1 1/2 tsp. vanilla

1/2 tsp. lemon juice

1/2 cup rolled oats

2 1/4 cups all-purpose flour

1 1/2 tsp baking soda

1 tsp. salt

1/4 tsp. cinnamon

3 cups semi-sweet chocolate chips

1 1/2 cups chopped walnuts

Cream together the butter, sugars, vanilla, and lemon juice in a large bowl (I use a mixer for this). Add the eggs and mix until smooth.

Grind oats in a food processor or smoothie maker or blender until fine/dusty. Combine oats with flour, baking soda, salt, and cinnamon in a medium bowl.

With the mixer on low, add the dry mixture to the wet mixture and mix until just blended. Add the chocolate chips and nuts and mix by hand until thoroughly incorporated.

Use a small (1 tablespoon) ice cream scoop to scoop rounded cookies onto a baking sheet. Bake in a 350 degree oven for 10-12 minutes, or until cookies are light brown around the edges and soft in the middle. Store in a sealed container when cool to keep soft. OR store rounded cookie scoops in a bag in the refrigerator until ready to bake. You can bake one (yeah, right) or a dozen this way.

Serve with milk as a snack. Serve with wine as dinner. Serve naked as dessert.

A note: Don't make these on a day you plan on masturbating: they are FULL of nuts and chocolate chips, and mixing them thoroughly takes some serious elbow grease. (It's always been my dream to use the words "masturbating," "nuts," and "grease" in the same sentence. I rule!)

*Hey, man--I'm not saying that these cookies will get you laid at home or promoted at work. All I'm saying is they can't hurt. So don't come crying to me, all, "But you said I would be awesome, boo hoo hoo," and shit, if you find yourself single, unemployed, and un-bang-able, even after making these cookies. I can't do everything, you know. But the cookies are a start. You're welcome.

ONE LAST THING:  If you've been reading Sweet Tea for a while, 1) your IQ has probably gone down at least 10 points--sorry about that, and 2) you may have noticed that this is Sweet Tea's 100th post!

To celebrate, I'm giving away a batch of Hot, Sexy, Bad-Ass Chocolate Chip Cookies to a Sweet Tea bleader! I'll mail them if you don't live nearby, or I'll hand-deliver to a local yokel.

To enter, just leave a comment in the comments section by this Friday, January 27. (You can use a fake name in the comments section, but if you win, I'll need your info, you sneaky little minx.) A winner will be chosen at random (assuming more than one person leaves a comment HAR) and announced next Monday, January 30.