What kind of car comes to mind when you think of a "sexy" car? Maybe it's something like this:
Or maybe the addition of a sweet, wholesome girl in a classy outfit and a I'm-peeing-in-the-woods pose come-hither gaze makes a car sexy:
Whatever. Amateur night in the house. It's like this: I'm not a girl--I'm a woman. And so I don't want a boy--I want a man.
A MAN in a VAN. Bring it!
That's pure class right there. A lion's head with a cheetah's body in a custom paint job? Oooh baby. You just know there's a bearskin rug, velvet curtains, satin sheets, and some Courvoisier waitin' for you inside there!
Have a look at this one:
A classic man with vintage taste. Original paint, original muffler, original tires. There is dirty, hot sex in your immediate future, you little minx, and it likely involves shag carpet, burlap curtains, a crusty towel, and a box-o-wine. It puts the lotion on its skin, or it gets the hose again...
And...uh...Amber Alert...
"Hey, little kid, wanna ride in my van?" This one may as well have "Free Hugs" or "Free Candy" painted on the outside. Hoo boy. Filled with a counterfeit college degree, plenty of stuffed animals, some milk and cookies, and a video camera--drive as fast as you can in the opposite direction if you happen to encounter this one.
You da man in a badass van!!
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